here's the quick version

in fragments. because who doesn't like fragments? 

born in california. migrated to tulsa. ditched the uniforms. shopped at thrift stores. learned what it meant to dream. dabbled in painting. discovered i was terrible. tried song writing. found out that was not my life calling. cried a lot. laughed a lot. took a photoshop lesson. graduated from university. moved back home. planned to move to boston. plan failed. moved back to tulsa. interned for a missions organization. questioned my decision. questioned life. rang in nye 2010 in dramatic tears. [it would have made great reality tv.] hopped on a plane to asia. stepped foot in the red light district. world turned upside down. [in the best way possible]. re-discovered myself. life made sense again. kinda. lived in a third story apartment. nannied. [i rocked at it.] found a job working hr. gave people jobs. picked up running. decided to move back to the motherland. packed up life. went to nyc. moved home. emailed lou. hashtagged #coasttocoastchallenge. decided to start a blog. named it coast to coast central. documented my outfits daily. took too many selfies. bought too many clothes. found real style. dyed my hair blonde. looked for a job. couldn't find one. worked for my mom. she fired me. cried once or twice. decided to launch third story apartment. got a client. worked a lot. watched steve jobs. realized i was a work-aholic. changed work ethic. experienced business owner growing pains. cried. cried some more. almost gave up. had an epiphany at a stop light. decided not to. led a team to ecuador. made friends in brothels. threw a party for victims of human trafficking. spoke at yellow conference. met my lady tribe. hiked mount whitney. tricked ish into hiring me. made some goals. worked a lot. booked a ticket to london. ate brunch in oxford circus. celebrated 28. uncovered new dreams. had the worst night of life on hollywood blvd. [it would have been good material for my reality show.] started saving. learned what good leadership meant. [the hard way]. went to ecuador. came home. retired #coasttocoasthchallenged. simplified the coast to coast team. rested. dreamed. planned a wedding [not mine]. went to ecuador [again]. dreamed some more. came home. told my mom i was moving to ecuador. named the dream "wild hearts wknd". packed my backpack. backpacked around europe. caught a flight to ecuador. lived in quito with my redheaded roomie. started writing a book. moved back to california. launched the first wild hearts wknd in portland. used alot of airline miles. went to barcelona and cuba. decided it was time for expansion. booked a ticket to nyc. found a magical spot in brooklyn. took a liking to black palms and dico balls. cut off all my hair. started the official pep talks™. watched my big sister get married. now, i'm about to move to london... 

now you're all caught up.