location: san francisco, ca
song: catch and release by matt simons
Read Time: 4 minutes
i'm learning. at least, i hope i am.
i am learning that it’s okay to get a little lost on the way to your destination.
this morning, after dropping my cousin off at her race, i decided to go chase the sunrise. it literally was a chase because i got stuck in traffic, which resulted in rushing to catch the first glimpse of daylight. on the way, i got a little lost. instead of staying on the road i was on, i turned left in order to avoid traffic. little did i know, that choice would result in an even bigger wait. as soon as i turned left, the road i was on previously, started moving. finally. that’s how it always is, right? you’re in a line — it’s not moving. so you take matters into your own hands and switch lines, directions, or make a u-turn in hopes to hurry up the process.
we do this a lot in life.
at least, i do. maybe you’re a superhuman though, with special gifts in patience, and don’t experience these encounters. but, i do. i’m not super-human.
it’s a gamble, right?
you can stay on the road you are on and hope that eventually that the obstacle putting you at a starking stop disappears into oblivion. or, you can change your course and enter into the unknown. there’s no telling which way will work out.
for the longest time, i put pressure on myself to make the right choices, to stay on the PERFECT path, to not get distracted, to not get lost, and to move ahead quickly in life. at times, it was almost as if i was afraid to make decisions, because i didn’t want to make the wrong one. i didn’t want to miss out on what life had for me, on what God had for me. i was afraid to date people, i was afraid to move out of the country, i was afraid to move cities — because, what if I did? and what if that was the wrong choice?
it’s taken me twenty-something years, but i've learned something: there is grace in our movements.
which means, even if we steer off the “perfect” path, we can still get to where we are destined to go.
as i was headed to the golden gate bridge to soak in the sunrise, google maps re-routed me at least five different times. the list of reasons why google has to do this is sometimes embarrassing. sometimes, i am directionally challenged. sometimes, i get distracted by music and miss my exit. sometimes, i get caught up in my thoughts and forget where i was going. sometimes, i just miss it. but that’s life, too, right? sometimes, we get distracted, we get caught up, or we are directionally challenged. but, there is grace — it is like the ultimate google maps, constantly re-routing us, making sure we get to where we were created to go.
eventually, we’ll always get to where we are supposed to be.
grace gives us freedom. it gives us the freedom to live fully. it gives us freedom to make choices without the overwhelming pressure of making the right or wrong choice. grace says, “be fully alive, let go of fear — i’ll make sure you get where you need to go.”
we have to live like this. we have to live in grace, because if we don’t — we’ll be at a standstill. paralyzed. never making choices, because we don’t want to make the wrong one.
(or, again, maybe that’s just me.)
the wrong choices, the bad ones, the ones we think we could have lived without…
we kinda need them. we can’t regret them. they make us who we are. yes, they might hurt like hell — but the pain and heartbreak help mold us into better humans, if we let it. that part is key, we have to let it. see, without the detours and left turns, we risk never becoming whole. meaning, we risk missing out on experiences that make us a little more us. without the detours, we are never challenged in what we believe. we are never tested and refined. we never see beauty from a different perspective.
we all have those experiences. think about it… the heartbreak, the detour, the left turn you experienced last year, did it shape you a little? did it change your worldview? did it re-adjust the lens with which you view the world?
it did. right? see. i told you. we need those little detours.
the point of all this is simple: it’s okay to get a little lost along the way. take the pressure off yourself to navigate yourself along the most strategic route in this life. that’s not the way we were created to live. while you might be frustrated as hell sometimes with wrong turns and getting lost — you’ll find a little beauty along the way. i promise. the one condition though— you have to approach life with your eyes wide open and full of hope. hope that no matter what— life is going to be beautiful.
so, dear friend, live. go out and live. know there is grace in your movements. walk through this life with starry eyes knowing that it’s going to be a good one. you have to make choices, but grace has your back. if you get a little lost, if you’re on a detour for too long, grace will reroute you. promise.